Irish Apocalypse.

Yesterday, I presented a paper with some friends from school at WVU's graduate colloquium, and on our way back to Duquesne, I made the mistake of driving through downtown Pittsburgh after the St. Patrick's Day parade. The streets looked post-Apocalyptic. There were piles of green plastic cups drifted against overturned barricades, police cars and ambulances everywhere, and drunks of all ages staggering through the rubble, wearing bizarre green hats, jewelry, and apparel.

As we neared campus, we both feared and anticipated coming across our students drunk in the street. At the entrance to the Armstrong Tunnels on Forbes Ave, Melissa rolled down her window to ask two barely functional coeds why they thought it was fun to traipse around town drunk in garrish attire. But before she could do so, one of the girls turned to us and started whooping. "Yeah, St. Patrick's Day!!" she screamed, making Melissa's question immediately moot.

The glass walls of the bus shelter near campus had been smashed, and shards littered the sidewalk and street. A drunk dude in plaid pants and a newsboy cap nearly stumbled in front of my car. "Oh my God," Melissa said. "I have to get out of here."

Because we are a city of many Irishmen, and because the city officials are mildly retarded AND on crack, Pittsburghers are permitted to drink openly in the streets ALL DAY the day of the St. Paddy's Day parade. Many of the revelers are drunk by 10am, and they keep the green beer flowing as the day progresses. At some point, these people manage to trash the entire downtown area. Then, unsatisfied, they wander over to the Southside, where they stumble down the sidewalks in riotous groups, shouting, pushing, and vomiting. Mike was reading at Crazy Mocha, and every time the door opened, he heard unintelligible shouting. Then, the door would close, shutting out all evidence of the Irish Apocalypse yet again.

I find all of this very funny, but also very disgusting and terrible. Generally, I am amused by seemingly innocuous human spectacle: it all seems so alien, so strange. But I am pretty horrified by mass public drunkenness and the chaos that ensues. The mob scene that results when placid Pittsburghers blow off some steam en masse makes me think that our city--and our society at large--is barely holding our civilized facade together. What social force keeps us from this kind of chaos or worse every day? And will that force hold?