Argument

I like to argue. But not when I'm actually angry. And only about issues without much gravity, like aesthetics. (Okay, so aesthetics can be pretty important sometimes. But...you know what I mean...)

Today I had a random argument with another graduate student, and I THOUGHT it was going to be one of those fun, random arguments I love so much. But then things went horribly wrong. Or at least, I think they did. I'm really not sure.

We were laughing, and then suddenly... he was shouting. And I was trying to keep laughing, but it was pretty awkward, to say the least. Then we seemed to patch things up, but he wound up kind of storming out of the room.

Ummmmm.....????

This person, who is so crotchetly and cynical he could be an old man with a cane, likes very few people. He is embittered and, I think it fair to say, hates everyone. Usually I have a soft spot in my heart for people like this, and so, up until today, I fancied myself one of the people he hated least in our department. In fact, the other day we had a strangely long and funny conversation about shampoo. I found this endearing and thought it meant I was on his good side. Or at least, as far from his ire as anyone gets.

But no. I had to go and make a somewhat idealistic comment about our department and the improvements the professors are trying to make. This totally set him off, and he began shouting, "Oh, you're from another planet. ANOTHER PLANET!" While I tried to explain myself, he continued shouting this directly into my face, and I felt something (perhaps the Sicilian part of me?) snap. And so, I found myself shouting the same phrase back into HIS face! At this point, the more rational part of me won control again, and I tried to make a joke of the situation. But there was NO salvaging it. It was irrevocably awful.

When I went to teach my class today, which is, ironically, about rhetorical argumentation, I told my students that I had engaged in an argument that completely lacked "mature reasoning" (the staple of competent argument, according to our textbook) and, as a result, had become very "cranky-pants" (a term I recently introduced them to). Then I had to deliver a grammar lecture, which made my day even worse.

Now, at the end of the day, I'm feeling 1) kind of glad I had this stupid argument, because it was amusing to me and everyone else around at the time, and 2) ashamed that I allowed myself to get carried away and that I should never speak again.

But I will. And a lot. I just can't help but argue.